myRomeo&Juliet
Capulet welcomes his guests to the party. Romeo quickly spots Juliet and is captivated. At the same time, Tybalt spots Romeo and recognizes him as a Montague. He points him out to Capulet, who tells Tybalt to let it go—tonight is not the night for fighting. Romeo, meanwhile, woos Juliet, and the two share a kiss. After they part, Romeo finds out from her nurse that Juliet is a Capulet, and Juliet later finds out that Romeo is a Montague.
Modern English:Where’s Potpan? He should be helping clear the table. Is he carrying plates? Is he washing plates?
When there’s only one person with good manners around here and he gets his hands dirty yelling at us too, it’s an unpleasant thing.
Get these chairs out of here, take away the side-board, take care of the serving dishes. You, be a good fellow and save me a piece of the marzipan, be so kind as to tell the porter to show Susan Grindstone and Nell back to the kitchen. Anthony and Potpan!
Yep, we’re here and ready.
I’ve been looking for you and calling for you, and you’re needed now in the great hall.
We can’t be in the kitchen and the dining room at the same time. [To other servants] Keep smiling, boys, let’s be quick, and may the winner take all, as they say.
Welcome gentlemen. The ladies will dance with you unless they have corns on their feet. Ah, my young ladies, which of you can deny you want to dance now? Any of you who acts shy must have corns, I’m sure of it. Did I hit close to home? Welcome, gentlemen. I remember back in the day when I wore a mask and whispered sweet nothings in a beautiful girl’s ear that could sweep her off her feet. Oh, but those days are long gone. You are welcome here, gentlemen. Come, musicians, play. Make some room in the hall! Make room, and get on your feet, girls.
[Music is playing and they’re starting to dance.]Bring in more light, you fools, and fold away those dining tables. And throw some water in the fireplace--it’s gotten too hot in here. If I do say so myself, this spontaneous dance is turning out quite well. No, come sit here with me, my good cousin, for our dancing days are over. How long has it been since we were last partying in masks?
By the Virgin Mary, it must be thirty years.
What! It can’t be that long. It was after we danced at Lucentio’s wedding, and come this spring that will have been twenty-five years ago that we were at a masked ball.
It’s more, definitely more. Lucentio’s son is older than that, sir. His son is thirty.
What are you saying? His son was still under 21 two years ago.
[To a Servingman] Who’s the lady who is enriching that knight by letting him hold her hand?
I don’t know, sir.
Oh, she could teach torches a thing or two about brightness! She shines in the night like a dazzling diamond in a dark Ethiopian’s ear. Her beauty is too precious to be used up during this lifetime, too precious for the earth.
She stands out from the other women like a white dove among a flock of crows. When the dance is over, I’ll watch where she stands, and make my hand blessed just by touching hers. Was I in love before? My eyes convince me not, since I never realized what true beauty is before tonight.
That sounds like the voice of a Montague. Go get my sword, boy. How dare he come our party disguised in that mask to sneer at us? By the honor of my Capulet ancestors, I say that striking him dead would be no sin.
My nephew, what’s going on? Why are you talking so angrily?
Uncle, that is a Montague, our enemy, who has come to our party out of spite so he can mock our festivities.
It’s young Romeo, isn’t it?
That’s him, that bastard Romeo.
Calm down, gentle nephew. Leave him alone. He’s behaving quite properly. And honestly, everyone in Verona says he’s a nice, well-mannered boy. I will not have him mistreated in my house, not for the wealth of the whole town.
So be patient and don’t pay any attention to him. That’s what I want, so if you respect my decisions, you should put on a smile and quit frowning, which is not an appropriate look for a feast anyway.
It is appropriate when one of the guests is a bastard. I won’t tolerate him.
You will indeed tolerate him. Listen young man! I say he will be tolerated. Go on. Am I the master of this house, or are you? Not tolerate him! God help me! You want to cause a scene! You want to make a commotion like a cock in the hen house! You want to show that you’re “the man!”
Why, it’s disgraceful, uncle.
Oh, go on. You’re an insolent boy. So you think it’s a disgrace, indeed? Well, this foolishness of yours may just cost you, I know that. So you have to contradict me, do you? [To guests] Good Heavens, it’s time for the dancing. Well said, my dears. [To Tybalt] You’re acting like a conceited ass. You can go. Be quiet at once, or--[To servant] more light, more light--[to Tybalt] I’ll shut you up. [To guests] Oh, how marvelous, my dears!
Being forced to be quiet while I’m this angry makes my blood boil. I can’t do anything about it now, but Romeo’s intrusion into our party will turn my polite facade into bitterness.
I fear I’ve defiled your hands, which are like a holy shrine to me, by touching them with my own unworthy hands. But I have an agreeable way to make it up to you. My lips are ready to smooth over that rough touch with a tender kiss, like two devoted pilgrims before a holy place.
Good worshipper, you’re too harsh on your own hand, as it shows a perfectly polite devotion by holding mine. After all, pilgrims touch the hands of saints, and the hands kiss when their palms are brought together.
Yes, but don’t the saints and the worshipers have lips, too?
Yes, pilgrim, lips that they should use for prayer.
Well then, dear saint, let our lips do what our hands are doing. They’re praying for something after all, a kiss, so their faith doesn’t turn into despair.
Saints don’t act first, although they may respond to prayers.
Then don’t move while I get my prayers answered.
[He kisses her]Now all the sin has been purged from my lips thanks to yours.
Then that sin has passed from your lips to mine.
A sin from my lips? Oh what a sweetly suggested trespass! Give it back to me.
[He kisses her again.]You kiss by the book.
Madam, your mother wants a word with you.
Who is her mother?
Heavens, young man, her mother is the lady of this house, and a good, wise, and virtuous lady she is. I nursed her daughter, who you were just talking to. I’ll tell you, whoever lands her will be rolling in the dough.
Don’t tell me she’s a Capulet. What fate! My life is in my enemy’s hands. I can’t live without her.
Let’s take off. As the saying goes, “Quit while you’re ahead.”
I’m afraid that is only too true. Staying more would be my undoing.
No, gentlemen, don’t leave now. We have a little something for dessert coming.
[They indicate that they need to leave]That’s so? Well, then, I thank you all for coming, honest gentlemen. Good night. [To the servants] Bring more torches here. Come, let’s go to bed. Oh, dear me, I swear it’s getting late. I’m going to bed.
Come here, nurse. Who’s that gentleman over there?
That’s old Tiberio’s son and heir.
And who’s that just now going out the door?
Bless me, I think that’s young Petrucio.
And who’s that following him, the one who would not dance all evening?
Go find out his name.
[Nurse departs]If he’s already married, I’ll likely go to my grave an old maid rather than marry anyone else.
His name is Romeo, and he’s a Montague. In fact, he’s the only son of Lord Montague, your great enemy.
The only love I’ve ever known comes from the only thing I hate! I met him too early, before I knew who he was, and I found out who he was too late. What a terrible way for me to fall in love for the first time--with a hated enemy.
What’s this? What did you say?
Oh, just a rhyme I learned from someone I was dancing with.
[One calls within 'Juliet.']We’re coming, we’re coming! Come, let’s go. All the guests have gone.
